Monica Brinkman, Canadian Fine Artist

Back in 2019, I abruptly decided to take charge of my life by ending a rollercoaster 9-year relationship while changing careers, again. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy, but I wasted no time in diving into some serious self-care: therapy, yoga, meditation, doctor's visits, and creating tons of valuable new memories.⁠ I made new friends and found new communities to be part of.

Let me say, watching those self-care roots grow has been an amazing experience. It's one of those challenges in life that became more believable to me as time went on. I remember how hopeless things felt for a long time, but the idea of ✨️ rooting down to rise up ✨️ always stuck with me.⁠ The thing about plants, you already know, is they take a long time to grow. I was prepared to be patient.

I learned to let go of what isn’t working in order to connect with myself and grow. I gave myself permission to be imperfect and I learned to have compassion for myself. I let go of the relationship, I let go of the career, and I let go of society’s ideas of what a woman should be and do. I felt free when I left my corporate career in accounting, when I stopped dating, and I feel free every day now.

Yoga is my happy hour, my daily dose of zen in a chaotic world. Flowing through yoga poses outdoors is a magical experience. I feel strong and centred, all while looking up at the trees and clouds. It's not just about the workout; it's about the moments of bliss and balance that keep me coming back for more. ⁠In my art, I paint woman in yoga poses to advocate for our body autonomy.

Our bodies, with all their curves and scars, have stories to tell. I had life saving kidney surgery at only 3 months old thanks to the best surgeon in North America, who happened to be retiring that very day. My family waited for 8 hours at Sick Kids hospital - the amount of time I was in surgery for. I was his last patient and he told my mom if he didn’t perform the surgery I would likely die.

There’s nothing you can say to me that hasn’t already been said. I’ve been bullied, talked down to, and straight up harassed. Everyone in my life loves and cherishes me now, but, the process of coming out on the other side has changed me forever.

I feel resilient and now I know who I am. I want to help other women to the other side too. The first step for me was changing how I treated myself.

Eventually, all of my experiences fueled a fire, and I chose to live with compassion in place of anger. You will never see me laughing and pointing, but you will see me dishing out hugs like they’re going out of style.

Self-care activities like yoga, drawing, and meditation help me feel grounded. I replaced drama with calmness and completely changed my environment - inside and out!

Whenever I share my journey, other women open up about their own tough paths. Every. Single. Time. Although our experiences are so similar, we are often not healing together. Sharing our stories is a way of taking back our power, one conversation at a time. And when I finally let go of the past, my roots dug deep. I'm seriously proud of how far I've come and I absolutely love the Feminist Art community.

If you can’t tell, I LOVE drawing and painting! Whether it’s the figure, landscapes, animals, or something I imagined into reality, I find so much comfort in the act of creating. I love art because it feels good to create something that wouldn't have existed otherwise. My mom prioritized my creativity when I was a kid AND even as an adult - my parents were very supportive of my decision to go to McMaster University. I have two degrees now: Fine Arts and Accounting.

My 3 year old standard goldendoodle, Olive Branch, keeps my feet warm and my heart happy every single day. She takes ME on walks and reminds me to go to bed at a reasonable time. I thank her with belly rubs, trips to the dog park, and the most epic cuddles you could ever imagine. She’s honestly the best studio assistant I could ask for. Even when she doesn’t like a painting, she still wags her tail!

I’m still working on how to tell this part of the story in a world that under-cares and over medicates. It might be that the only person who ever knows how scary of a time period this was for me is, well, me. What I CAN tell you is that I have everthing I need now to thrive and depression has ultimately lost its’ chokehold on me. This tattoo is my badge for overcoming the scariest time in my life.

Here’s what matters most: regardless of what happened, I have a whole new and exciting journey ahead of me. These days I focus on creating a life worth living and nothing else. That’s what I want for you too! Be WEIRD, be kind, live life on your terms and care about vulnerable people who just need a little help. Don’t cave into group thinking, give your big beautiful brain all the space it needs.